Understanding Your Child’s Attention & Impulse Control

What do we mean by attention and impulse control?

Attention means more than just being able to concentrate. Children use attention to:

• notice what is important;
• ignore distractions;
• listen to instructions;
• stay with an activity;
• return to something after being interrupted;
• remember what they are supposed to be doing;
• move their attention from one activity to another.

Impulse control is about being able to pause briefly between wanting to do something and actually doing it.

Some children find it much harder to make that pause. They may:

• interrupt;
• call out answers;
• act before thinking;
• find waiting very difficult;
• rush through activities;
• move on before finishing;
• grab things;
• become distracted by something more interesting;
• forget an instruction halfway through;
• repeatedly need reminders.

Attention can be a strength too

Children who struggle to concentrate in some situations can sometimes focus extremely well in others. Your child may:

• become deeply absorbed in subjects they love;
• notice details other people miss;
• think quickly;
• be curious;
• generate lots of ideas;
• respond rapidly;
• be spontaneous;
• be creative;
• be enthusiastic;
• learn very effectively through practical activities.

So, attention is not just a matter of good attention / bad attention. It is often highly dependent on:

Figuring out these conditions is one of the most helpful things you can do.

1. Start by finding your child’s attention pattern

For a few days, notice:

When is attention easiest?

Perhaps:

• Lego;
• drawing;
• gaming;
• sport;
• being read to;
• practical activities;
• one-to-one conversations;
• favourite subjects.

When is attention hardest?

Perhaps:

• homework;
• getting dressed;
• listening to several instructions;
• meals;
• classroom lessons;
• transitions;
• boring or repetitive activities.

Then ask:

It may be:

• the task is shorter;
• the child is interested;
• there are fewer distractions;
• there is movement involved;
• instructions are clearer;
• somebody is helping them get started;
• the reward is immediate.

This information helps us find the right ways to support your child.

2. Get your child’s attention before giving the instruction

Sometimes adults give an instruction when the child’s attention is elsewhere. Then we interpret the lack of response as “They’re not listening.”

Before giving an important instruction:

It is essential to have clear, concise instructions and careful consideration of how information is presented.

3. Make instructions shorter

Compare:

A child who has trouble paying attention might understand each word but still miss parts of a long instruction.

Try one or two steps at a time. You can gradually increase this as your child develops.

4. Tell your child what you want them to do

Instructions are usually easier to follow when they describe the desired behaviour.

Clear instructions make it easier for your child because they don’t have to figure out as much on their own.

5. Make the end point clear

Children often find tasks easier when they know:

For example:

Give time expectations and show what you expect to see when the activity is finished.

6. Use time visually

“Five minutes” can be quite abstract for a child. A timer can make time more concrete.

You might say:

Visual or silent timers can be particularly useful where repeatedly telling the child how much time remains becomes distracting.

7. Break large tasks into smaller pieces

A task can seem overwhelming before your child even begins.

Instead of “Do your homework.” try:

• Step 1: Take the book out.
• Step 2: Complete questions 1-3.
• Step 3: Short break.
• Step 4: Complete the next section.

This way, your child gets to finish smaller parts along the way, instead of facing one big task at the end.

8. Help your child get started

Sometimes the greatest difficulty is not completing the activity. It is starting it.

Try the first step together. For example:

As your child gets going, you can slowly step back and let them continue on their own.

The goal is not to do the task for your child. It’s about giving just enough help so your child’s brain can get started on the task.

9. Reduce unnecessary distractions

Before deciding your child just “can’t concentrate,” take a look at what’s happening around them. Consider:

• television;
• conversations;
• siblings;
• toys;
• phones/tablets;
• background noise;
• busy walls or desks;
• movement around them.

At school, seating can make a significant difference. It is essential to think about what the child sits on and where they sit, as well as surrounding noise and expectations about remaining in or out of their seat.

The best environment isn’t always a silent one. It’s the environment where your child does their best.

10. Use movement strategically

Movement and attention often affect each other. Some children listen better after moving. Others may need small amounts of movement while they work.

Possible approaches include:

• movement before homework;
• short movement breaks;
• standing for part of a task;
• a purposeful physical job;
• changing position;
• an agreed fidget.

One of the most important recommendations is to schedule movement breaks and find fidget tools that work for the individual child.

Judge the strategy by its outcome:

If yes, keep it. If it becomes another distraction, change it.

11. Don’t expect attention to last forever

Attention has limits. A child may be able to concentrate effectively for ten minutes but not thirty.

It’s usually better to start with an amount of attention your child can manage, instead of expecting them to focus for longer than they’re able to right now. For example: 10 minutes of focus.

The goal is to gradually build your child’s ability to pay attention, rather than setting them up to struggle.

12. Understanding impulsivity

Impulsivity means sometimes a child acts before they have a chance to think it through.

The long-term skill we want to develop is a small pause:

At first, you might need to help your child make that pause. For example:

With practice, your child will start to use this process on their own.

13. Practise impulse control when nothing is going wrong

Don’t wait until after something goes wrong to teach “stop and think.” Practise through everyday activities.

Games involving:

• waiting;
• taking turns;
• stopping and starting;
• following changing instructions;
• thinking before responding

can all provide safe practice.

The skill is:

14. Make waiting visible and predictable

“Wait” can feel endless.

Instead of “Just wait.” try:

When your child knows exactly when something will happen, waiting often feels much easier.

15. Notice success immediately

Children who struggle with attention and impulsivity often receive enormous amounts of correction. Try to notice successful moments too. For example:

Giving specific feedback helps your child understand exactly what they did well.

16. Avoid turning every attention difficulty into conflict

Repeated:

This can show your frustration, but it doesn’t help your child know what to do instead.

Instead, change the task or environment:

• Shorten it.
• Reduce distractions.
• Give one instruction.
• Use a timer.
• Build in movement.
• Help them start.

Helping your child pay attention is usually more effective than repeatedly asking them to concentrate.

17. Attention and impulsivity at school

Possible classroom strategies include:

• Clear instructions: short sentences and limited steps.
• Check understanding: ask the child what they need to do rather than simply “Do you understand?”
• Clear time expectations: show how long the activity will last.
• Visible end point: make it clear what “finished” looks like.
• Appropriate seating: consider proximity to the teacher and major distractions.
• Movement breaks: build them in proactively where helpful.
• Timers: use visual/silent timers where appropriate.
• Fidgets: trial them only where they improve engagement.
• Task chunking: break longer activities into smaller sections.
• Positive feedback: notice successful listening, waiting and task completion.

18. Look for patterns instead of blaming

Keep a record of what happened during the day and reflect on it to develop the next action plan. You don’t need a detailed diary. Ask:

• What was the task?
• What was happening around the child?
• How long had they been concentrating?
• Were they tired/hungry/excited?
• What helped?

You’ll start to notice patterns. Once you see these patterns, you can start to make changes.

First three actions

Don’t try to use every idea in this guide at once. Start with one situation.

Action 1: Choose the problem

Identify one situation where attention or impulsivity regularly causes difficulty. For example:

• getting ready for school;
• starting homework;
• calling out during lessons.

Action 2: Change ONE thing

Choose one strategy. For example:

• Give only one instruction at a time.
• Use a 10-minute timer during homework.
• Introduce a movement break before starting.

Try the same strategy consistently.

Action 3: Review after 1-2 weeks

Ask:

• Was the activity easier?
• Did my child need fewer reminders?
• Was there less conflict?
• Did they complete more?
• Were they better able to wait or pause?

Rate it: Better / No change / Worse

If it helped: keep it. Then add the next strategy.

Attention rarely exists in isolation

Difficulties in this area may interact with other parts of your child’s Strengths & Needs Profile. For example:

This is important. A child who appears not to listen because they didn’t understand the language needs different support from a child who understood but lost attention halfway through.

Looking at your child’s full profile helps us understand what kind of support they need.

Keep in mind

The aim isn’t:

It is:

Start with:

After that, you can add more changes as needed.